IF you don’t get the job,
If you max out your credit-cards,
wipe out your savings,
lose every cent in your checking account….
you’ll still be ok.
If your lover leaves you or
the relationship you have tirelessly nurtured withers and ends…
If you flub your words,
regretfully overstep your bounds,
feel the sting of unprovoked or provoked criticism….
the world won’t stop turning.
You’ll be OK because you’re always OK.
Have always been OK.
Examine your past.
Take the 30,000 foot view of life’s trajectory.
When have you not landed on your feet?
Has it been challenging, crushing, painfully debilitating?
Maybe you needed support.
You called the doctor, your best friend, the headhunter.
You poured a stiff drink or packed your bags for a yoga retreat.
But you are resilient.
You have chutzpah running through your veins and
everything about your history proves it.
So wince in shame.
Lose it all + Start over.
Get beat by the competition.
You’ll be ok.
But more than that, you’ll be a stronger, smarter, fiercer version of yourself.
And that’s way, way better than being just ‘OK.’
Dr. Danielle Dowling is a writer, blogger, and life coach. She holds her doctorate in psychology and is an intuitive strategist who works with women leaders who are ready to stop comprising on the things that matter most — self-realization, soulful companionship accessing your innate power. Her goal is to inspire women to live inspiring lives; to help her experience a life better lived and to help her achieve her dreams whatever they may be. Please connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.
last week was impossibly rad. i approached the week with an empowered attitude and managed to wake up before 7:30, make a smoothie packed with crazy energy and go to yoga every single day. (yes, even sunday.) i left a gig that’d been dragging me down. i had a meeting that had me beaming and strutting down the street. i took my bulldog for a long walk and sat in the park just enjoying this time with her. i went paddleboarding for the first time. i enjoyed vino with friends i hadn’t connected with for awhile.
and it was funny – halfway thru the week, i was on the phone with my life coach and i asked why it was so important to keep promises to ourselves. i mean, i sorta knew the answer, but her response was perfect:
so we feel proud. we trust ourselves.
when our daily lives match up with the dreamy way we’d describe ourselves on a stellar day, we feel energized. we are walking the walk, and that is really flipping important.
do i fall off the wagon? oh yes, of course. if you read this regularly, you already know that. but about a year ago, i decided to be really open and transparent about it. when i show my underbelly, you show me yours. i feel connected, you feel connected. we are real and that’s just really juicy. something is good for you, until it isn’t, and when that happens you have the responsibility to take care of yourself and make a shift.
to find your flow.
hard shit happens. no doubt about that. whatever we can “control” is a great a great reminder that we are the creators, artists even, of our days and, in turn, our lives. every single moment matters. choose the bike ride over sitting on the couch watching reruns. choose the smoothie over the coffee that makes your stomach hurts. choose what works for you, what inspires you.
“the first task, though not the most important task, is to quiet the busyness in your mind. the second task is to find your song. and the third task is to sing it.”
the smell of summertime in the air. makes me want to buy hawaiian tropic and sit in a baby pool all afternoon long.
an entire, solo weekend ahead of nothing but sunshine, yoga, green juice and lots of sleep (i know, i know.. it’s only monday but i can’t resist!)
cotton tanks. i live in them.
new opportunities ahead in the world of yoga and life coaching. (more to come on that, of course!)
my morning smoothie – sfh protein powder, maca, spirulina, bee pollen, frozen berries and a handful of spinach followed by a jasmine green tea.
my reggae playlist for tonight’s sweaty yoga class.
in one of the goal coaching sessions i did with lululemon, i was asked to write a ten year vision for my life. (this is the just the first part. i may share the rest of it in a later post but it’s quite revealing!)
“it is a sunny but cool afternoon. i am under a low tree on my yoga mat barefoot scribbling in a notebook while our two children and our bulldog play in the garden nearby. from inside there’s the smell of spicy quinoa and the sound of rich jazz as matt prepares a delicious sunday lunch.
our friends will be arriving shortly with their own kiddos and dogs to eat from our garden around a huge farm table with low slung italian lights above our heads. the table will be covered with bottles of wine and plates to share and crayons for the kids who are doodling all over the butcher paper.
we have spent the morning at the farmers’ market with the kids on bikes and skateboards. we picked up all sorts of deliciousness and peonies for every room.”
even when i read it now (i wrote it over a year ago) it lights me up. i wrote it before i was engaged to matt. before we had this amazing little house in venice (was such a nervous wreck while we were looking for it convinced we wouldn’t find anything. a complete psychopath.) before we’d had the most amazing wedding. before we’d worked really, really hard on our relationship to get this place of major respect and understanding.
so yesterday when i was sitting on my yoga mat at just about the time in the afternoon i had pictured, under a tree, with my notebook, getting kisses from my bulldog and watching my husband (still feels crazy to say!) work in the yard i thought, “i’m here.” right in the middle of that dream i’d written. not exactly how i’d described above (thank god, not ready!) but the time before the kiddos and perhaps another bulldog. everything else is in place – the enchanting backyard, the unbelievably rich friendships we’ve developed, our little home. i just wanted to stay right there on my yoga mat soaking in it all. with all of the chaos of the past year, i hadn’t even realized i am already here.
i was on a call with martha beck last night and she said this:
“it’s as simple as this: play until you feel like resting. rest until you feel like playing.”
monday, when i wrote my last post, i was in a bad place. life and death bad? of course not, but it was just one of those days where i couldn’t quite get out of my head and just felt like a big ol’ BLAH! (exclamation mark included.) after i spilled the words and got my truth out, i felt immensely better. the ironic part? after writing about not wanting to go to yoga, i really wanted to. i went, i sweated, laughed with a girlfriend and felt a whole helluva lot better. i walked home slowly, taking some back streets and just took it in. i had been stuck on repeat for the past few days, and needed to shake it up.
that’s why i absolutely loved what martha said last night. play. rest. rest. play some more. move at your own rhythm. a rhythm that varies every single day.
just ask yourself in this moment:
is it time to rest? or time to play?
then get out of your own way!
“there is no secret to balance. you just have to feel the waves.”
— frank herbert
in my mind my return from my honeymoon went something like this:
arrive back from thailand tan, peaceful and super duper disciplined. hit the ground running. eat kale for, like, every single meal. go to yoga every day; maybe twice. perhaps even take up running.. on the beach.. in shorty shorts. get rid of cable and read. be done with wedding thank yous just by looking at them. drink less wine. volunteer.
in reality, it’s gone a bit more like this:
arrive home jet lagged as a mofo. eat pizza in airport after swearing i was done with gluten forever after my last pad thai. catch up on all the “game of thrones” episodes. finish shantaram (success!). eat every single thing i was craving before my wedding but would not let myself eat due to wedding photos. be really, really enamored with my husband and my bulldog (yay! a good thing!).
even today while eating a bagel with lox (another thing i was dying for) i googled:
oprah gave me some advice. so did about.com’s fitness guru. a random blogger or two. then i called my mom, and said, “what the hell is wrong with me?!!”
“of course you are tired,” she said. “your dad and i have been tired for a month and it wasn’t even our wedding.”
how could i be tired? i’ve been on vacay for three weeks. but you know what? i am. i believe i’ve got a case of wedding hangover.
so instead of beating myself up because i’m not doing all the kale-eating and downward dogging i thought i should be right now, i’m going to give myself a little leeway. in the past year i’ve gotten engaged, moved into a new house, outfitted said house, planned a wedding, made a bunch of career shifts&leaps and then got hitched. and life will keep coming in easy waves and tidal waves, and i’ll come back around. i always do.
the beauty of the ebb and flow.
pass me a bagel please.
almost all of april was devoted to our wedding then traveling for our honeymoon. to put it mildly, i feel like i’ve been living in a very, very good dream, one that i didn’t much want to wake from. but our re-entry back to our lives in venice has been lovely. coming home to our pup, who didn’t punish us too much for being away so long; to our amazing friends, who we shared many bottles of red wine with; and to our home, which we really came to miss as we traveled and lived out of suitcases for a few weeks.
every hour and dollar spent planning and paying for the wedding was beyond worth it. every worry i had seemed really silly in retrospect because it all unfolded exactly as it should. and the immense love we were surrounded with that day was nothing short of transformative.
so with a couple of backpacks and some major fatigue, we boarded our flight to thailand with some trashy magazines and junk food (yay!) and continued living in our little bubble as we traveled all over the south. all we had were our flights there and back, and not a single plan. we had so many adventures, like riding an elephant in the jungle, celebrating thai new year with water guns and singhas, and living in a jungle treehouse, all of which matt referred to as some “bucket list type shit.”
we are home, carrying worlds of gratitude and love (i seriously still have butterflies from it all), and every day working to co-create a beautiful, conscious life.
even though i’ll be gone for the month of april, you can still practice yoga with me every single day! practice for FREE for 10 days at yogis anonymous online by using the coupon code “marybeth10″ when you check out.
memberships are also super cheap – you can take just one class for $5 or just $15 for a whole month. i currently have 96 classes on the site, as well as tons of classes by amazing teachers like ally hamilton, derek beres, jennifer pastiloff and lots more.
see you in may!