thirty.


Posted on September 9th, by mb in gratitude. 29 comments

hi thirty, it’s very nice to meet ya.

before i go running into this year with arms wide open, i’d like to take a moment to reflect on my twenties.

twenties, i truly owe you. we had a few rough and tumbles but lord were they necessary and i’d like to think i’ve escaped mostly unscathed.

you’ve taken me so many places – the canals of amsterdam, the mountains of switzerland, the coast of my beloved california, and mostly certainly mining deeply into the depths of my own heart. there’s been heartbreak so terrible it took two ambien to sleep (i do not condone this) and love so deep that i ended up in a white dress and cowboy boots. i’ve lost loved ones so special that i sometimes feel them years later in the strangest of moments (martha, you follow me everywhere and remind me to use at least some “discernment” which i’m sure my own mother greatly appreciates.) i now have a tribe of girlfriends so fierce and strong that i have absolutely no doubt nothing could break us. i have a little family with a husband who supports me in all ways and a bulldog daughter that melts my heart.

but i think the most beautiful and what i’m most grateful for is the ability to trust myself and the moment. it sure as hell took a long time to get there.

thank for you for mine and my family’s health. thank you for allowing me to do what i love as “work.” thank you for bringing the most special people into my life. thank for my everchanging practice of sweat, breath and imperfection. thank you for teaching me to not always believe what i think. thank for surprising me. thank for forgiving me. thank you for being messy.

(to those i hurt by being “messy” i’ve spent a lot of time being really sorry and feeling ugly. i have to leave that hurt and that sorry here, very much behind me, and hope that we’ve both grown from it and that we are where we are meant to be. darkness accompanies the light, and it has taken me quite a long time to get acquainted with it.)

in preparation for this coming decade, i sat down with one of my best friends to look at where i am right now and where i want to go. there were painful parts to move through, places where i am still causing myself pain, and beautiful parts that i’m creating every day.

we decided that the words i wanted to focus on for this decade were REAL and RADIANT. real as in authentic conversations, authentic relationships, authentic dreams. real as in not bullshitting anyone about where i am or who i am, in order to be “liked.” radiant as in radiant health, radiant energy, radiant daily goals and intentions.

but after pondering these for awhile i think another word i’d like to add is GRACE. thirty is beautiful but definitely a time of change. my body is changing a bit. my mind. my relationships. and are we start a family at some point during this decade, everything will shift. i don’t want to fight it. i want to embrace it all gracefully. pushing and fighting has always looked so damn ugly to me. just grace.

a few humble requests for this year -
inspiring communication with my husband. a three-day weekend somewhere with just my little brother. a strong body and an open heart. continuing radiant health for my family. a abundant yoga and coaching profession, as well as super fun collaboration. a little less thinking, a bit more breath.

oh, and hey thirty-year-old me,
don’t forget:
you are beautiful. you are imperfectly perfect. and i really love you.
go take this decade by the balls.

“the place where you are right now
god circled on a map for you.
wherever your eyes and arms and heart can move
against the earth and sky,
the Beloved has bowed there.
our Beloved has bowed knowing
you were coming.
i could tell you a priceless secret about
your real worth dear pilgrim.
but any unkindness to yourself,
any confusion about others,
will keep one
from accepting the grace, the love!”
- hafiz





29 Responses to “thirty.”

  1. John says:

    Where are we going!?!?

    Happy birthday sis! I love you!

  2. Kate says:

    Ahhhh! I’ve been missing your posts and what an absolutely beautiful comeback this was. Happy Birthday Beauty. Enjoy! xxooxo

  3. Amy says:

    Happy Birthday! I loved reading this post :)

  4. Jasmine says:

    Beautiful.
    Happy birthday sweet heart. Xxx

  5. Stephanie says:

    Beautiful Words of wisdom from a gal of just 30 years!

  6. Leah says:

    So, so beautiful and right on. Thanks for sharing and happy 30th birthday!!

  7. Laura says:

    You are the person I always believed you to be….fun, spontaneous, loving, caring, independent and funny….Happy birthday, I hope you take the time to smell the coffee beans….love you

  8. Jessica Weiss says:

    Happy Birthday MB! Even though we crossed only briefly in WDC, I’ve followed your posts for years and always find inspiration in them. Keep on writing and sharing, please! Much love from a 30-year-old friend across the globe.

  9. Ashley says:

    simply beautiful. i love you.

  10. Wow! Very beautifully written and very inspiring. I am turning 21 this weekend, yes a few years younger but still a milestone birthday in and of itself. Birthdays are always such a perfect opportunity to reflect on the past and how much we have to be grateful for- as well as set intentions for the future. Loved everything you wrote in this post… especially what you said about grace. I think grace is the glue that keeps it all together and the thing that let’s us laugh at ourselves through it all. Love your blog. Thank you for your words.
    -Bronwyn
    P.S I mean this in the least creepy way possible but would love to meet you and do my yoga teacher training with you if you are leading one this spring/summer!?

    • mb says:

      bronwyn! happy birthday! thanks for your sweet words.
      sure, shoot me an email and i will let you know of any trainings coming up. xo

  11. Tess says:

    inspiring as always, and then some. :)

  12. marie says:

    yes yes yes. here’s to the constant changes and the building strength… happy happy thirties, love!

    so glad to share this world with you & hope to see you in the mountains someday soon.

  13. Amber says:

    Amen to all of it. I’m starting to realize my thirties are coming to a close in the not-so-distant future and it really is an amazing time in a woman’s life. I *love* your wish list and your self-affirming attitude. Rock it, girl! xx

  14. Erin says:

    Beautifully written. Real, Radiant, and Grace are three words that I could use more of in my life as well. Thanks for sharing!

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