it’s not that i’m not grateful. i cannot imagine anything better for myself, but it’s like my body and mind can’t quite catch up to all of this change and excitement, and i don’t feel very present.
how do you remedy this? or is it about not changing a thing, and just riding this wave til its end? til you feel like you again. i feel like i’ve tried it all – hibernating, a juice cleanse, two quiet sundays in a row.
a reader wrote the other day and said, “how can i always be happy like you are?” i was so alarmed when i read it. i wrote back immediately and explained that i wasn’t always happy, looking at the world through rose-colored lenses, but that i was more likely to write when i did feel like that. life happens – big events, crises, hormones, hangovers. things happen, and you just gotta roll with it.
last night we stopped into our local grocery store to pick up a few things, and even though i was feeling so quiet and withdrawn, we ran into about ten people that we knew. usually that would excite me to no end, but i just don’t feel like that right now. i crave quiet. i wanna run away with my man and our pup to a cabin the woods for a week.
and you know what? sometimes that’s perfectly okay. it’s the ebb and the flow.